How's the weekend starting off for everybody? Maybe I wasn't the only person who polished off a couple plates of nachos last night and squirted one too many droppers of CBD Full spectrum under my tongue to drift off to sleep. Woooo. Get some.

I ventured up past Duluth on Thursday to film a little day of shenanigans. Hoping to get that video up within the next couple days as well as "The Gainary" day 11/12. Stay Tuned.

A Book I'm reading

This book has been a really excellent listen (Audible). Hearing about the art of negotiating from a former FBI hostage negotiator sells itself. Some tactics I've found insightful from Chris Voss have been labeling and seeking no.

Labeling: "It sounds like your...etc." Labeling others emotions helps disarm the emotional weight underneath them and makes your counterpart feel heard. Communicate clear and slowly, listen. Mirroring what has been said to demonstrate understanding and tactical empathy.

Seeking No: Being told no gives the speaker the sense of control and safety. Asking a "No Orientated" question keeps the perceived power in the hand of the other person. The one I'm going to try out on the next gal that I'd like to pursue romantically, "Would it be unreasonable to ask you out for some coffee?"

That'll work for sure....

A great set of skills for all walks of life. Your constantly negotiating throughout the week in different nuanced ways, why not get real good at it?


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Verde River, Arizona (December 2017)


Good morning, hope ya'll are having a good start to the weekend and the weather warming up, (a little) its all relative right?

Holding serve to my theme of the past couple Saturdays I'd like to share a couple books I've been settling into, share some favorite quotes of mine that relate to personal development and having a healthy mindset. Also wanted to share a some plans I got for future videos over here in the GF Zone (doesn't stand for girlfriend unfortunately, boom roasted.. ma'self)

Starting off with some books I've been reading and learning from, (these are definitely not book summaries as most of these books I'm still reading, I just want to touch on parts from the book that I have learned from and find captivating)


I think most of us (maybe your the rare person who has never read a book relating to self help/psychotherapy/personal development etc.) have read a book about the before mentioned parenthesized genre of books. It seems difficult for authors in this wide spreading genre to bring new ideas to the fold or to do more than rehash and rearrange old strategies with some modern terminology in relation to bettering ones outlook and relationship with self.

Bruce Tift's book does a really nice job of comparing and contrasting the different roles that Buddhism and the Western (developmental) approach to life's challenges without any attempt to find a golden combination of them both. Through bringing awareness, self compassion, and acceptance for ones experiences, emotions, and challenges we can learn to stay with our less desirable experiences. To find that they aren't killing us and to go into the experience without judgment or immediately connecting it to our whole life story as a greater narrative of our life. Have the experience fully embodied without judgment or internal dialogue. Bruce also touches on our tendencies to want to wait around for everything to be perfect before we truly engage with and live our lives fully, that we always have a reason to hold back but we may just be fearing the intensity that life can bring. Maybe every zest of our life comes from that intensity and we have to move towards that intensity with our whole being, and moving towards that will bring that passion, fulfillment, love we are seeking. Waiting until we are perfect to engage intensely with life doesn't seem very realistic right?

I watched Lion King this past week and Rafiki's message to Simba is a timeless and probably cliché but relates well to "Already Free" and Tift's encouragement to sit with your feelings and truly accept them and work with them, but not going back and blaming the feelings for past experiences. The phrase I came up with to lay out the discipline (because its not easy to do this) is,

Present Sensation Over Past Explanation

we can feel and experience things without always having to go back and point at something as the cause, something unchangeable, catastrophizing things potentially. Instead lets embrace ourselves with self compassion and love and move forward, going after our goals as imperfect yet fully lovable humans.


This book is revolutionary, simple, freeing, and empowering. I always think saying something has "changed my life" is hyperbolic but at the same time, things can change your life in small ways that lead to big improvements.

The Four Agreements

  1. Be Impeccable with your word

  2. Don't take anything personally

  3. Don't make assumptions

  4. Always do your best

Simple, clear direction offered in a breezy ethereal tone of writing can be overlooked and forgotten, I listened to this book on Audible a few months back and have not allowed myself to forget the empowering messages within. How often do we find ourselves revisiting a interaction we had with someone that didn't go perfect and we think something was wrong with us? (Don't take anything personally, the person you interacted with could of been having an off day, your also most likely assuming the other person was judging you negatively) Were not feeling super hot today but we still manage to get to the gym and get a work out in? (Always doing your best doesn't mean one days best is the same as another)

Of course rule #1 and #4 are pivotal to finding success in ones journey but just from reading this book a few months ago, I've had numerous experiences where going over rule #2 and #3 have provided me with immense freedom when interacting and engaging with friends, family and especially strangers.

Everyone has a multitude of internal/external activities going on constantly, and you gotta believe that's impacting their interaction with you and others. There is so much else going on behind the scenes with folk that's shaping what they give back to you which is why you should never take anything personally. Its just such a burden remover and man, does it make it easy to brush past any exchange you wish had went better (doing your best and using your words properly ensures this fact more so, though we can always be kinder)

Removing assumptions is also just a game changer, what a energy freeing rule to follow. Curious? Ask. Don't allow yourself to pre judge a situation or person based off things you could easily find out with clear communication.

Alrighty, rambling done. here is a Jordan Peterson Quote to ponder going into next week.

Stay tuned to the YouTube channel next week for a new "Gainary" Video as well as the first video of new series I'm looking forward to getting started...


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Here's a pic (click on the pic for better clarity) of a roommate I had while living in Boulder, we didn't get along great, but I liked this pic of him, hope your well Hanson... (Blog below)

Hello frogs, welcome back to my blog where I try and clear any fog that's bogging me down like a heap of logs.

Like I previously mentioned, I really like the format of Tim Ferris's 5 Bullet Friday and would like to do something similar in a less prestigious, more loose format.

Here goes,

Books I'm Enjoying

Leadership is a subject of continually discussion, one that holds a fond place in our back pocket of cliché snippets and overused quotes. What I like about the way Jocko shares his leadership experience is that its all centered in taking personal responsibility with whatever challenges lay at your feet. Taking extreme ownership of any situation or problem gives you full agency in tackling it. There is no space for blaming circumstances, others, etc. you are forced to look at what things you may not be doing right and fix them. You are forced to let go of the fear of looking stupid, so you can ask the right question and get the answer you need to move forward.

This book comes off different than other leadership material in a handful of interesting and different ways. Though I can't site an exact book to reference, it seems like a lot of leadership literature can come from coaches in various athletic programs, albeit it still informative/practical, the leadership tactics from a Navy Seal Unit Commander and Business consultant bring a freshness that's only matched by a great pair of jeans tucked into new boots.

Jocko shares many difficult and challenging experiences he faced in Ramadi, Iraq. The implementation of strategies to successfully work with local soldiers to eradicate hostile insurgents. What comes back up frequently in these stories, you guessed it, Extreme Ownership. Taking on challenges fully and not making excuses. Laying out and executing plans with confidence. Plans that your team believes in fully, like you, because if you aren't fully in, those following won't be either. He takes all of these iron clad lessons learned over seas and shares examples of corporate settings he's consulted with implementing Extreme Ownership tactics with sales, management, teams etc. Highly recommend this book as your atypical leadership book. Plus Jocko is just a straight bad ass.

I didn't realize It would take so much time to briefly go over one book so lets just do two today, cool? Cool.

Wow, sometimes the truth behind why we should eat one way over another can feel like a bitch slap straight to the dome!

In Deep Nutrition, Catherine Shanahan does a wonderful job of splicing common rhetoric with "sciency" terms to lay out the dangers and results that come from a diet oversaturated with vegetable oils and sugar.

I will not make any effort or masquerade to say I have all this information down in a technical sense so I'll try and keep an eagle eyes view of it which I don't know is even the right analogy (its metaphor not analogy you fool! Yikes Dom why don't you stop writing about books you haven't fully finished or comprehend fully and work on finding better metaphors ya bingus) Alright, keeping it simple is safest.

Actually I won't even try to explain it and leave you to reading her book and greatly improving your health. I'll just say that from her research and knowledge she makes evidence based points that explain how vegetable oils (preservatives) and sugars (basically cocaine, huh?) are so damaging to our bodies, joints (not marijuana man, like the spot your elbow meets your forearm) and brains. The increase of inflammation the body experience has so many detrimental effects from joint and ligament soreness, brain fog, energy, reproductive health (that's baby making folks) and so on.

One reason I strongly believe I've been able to recover from a long lingering back injury as well as having a great amount of energy while feeling minimal joint soreness two months into a exercise routine (You Don't Know Me Son! -Goggins) is from eating a whole foods diet and not adding any "extra sauce to that boss" (inflammation) to my body. Having made the choice to (almost) completely eliminant preservatives and sugars has left me feeling my physical best.

So ya, check out those books. Stay tuned for more Gilmer Filmer videos coming on YouTube, got lots in the pipeline coming. Have a great weekend Folks.


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